Faith-Filled & Fearless in the Face of Death - Priscilla's Story of Love, Hope & Courage

As most of you know, cancer landed on our front porch for the first time in 2011, kicked down the door and smashed it's way into our home - destroying everything in its path.  Just when we thought we'd beaten it back, we found his sneaky little sister hiding in the closet.
  
These days, it seems that everyone you meet has been affected by the thief and murderer that is cancer. 

Cancer absolutely doesn't discriminate. 

It doesn't care whether you're a man or woman, young or advanced in age, whether you have children to feed or a corporation to run. There's no escaping once Cancer storms in the front door of your home.  

I was deeply saddened to learn that my drummer friend from high school was struggling to overcome her own diagnosis simultaneous to mine.  

For Bridget's family, like ours, the monster didn't stop with just one member. Unfortunately, Bridget's step-daughter Priscilla lost her battle to Synovial Sarcoma.  

I trust Priscilla's story of hope, love, and courage will travel straight to your heart, as it did to mine.

Priscilla Nichole Halfyard was a unique, beautiful and talented young woman. She was born on May 5, 1992 and accepted her angel's wings on May 12, 2015.  

In the words of her loving father, Stephen Halfyard and her step-mom, Bridget Bates Halfyard, this is Priscilla's heroic story of courage:

On March 22, 2014, tragedy struck the Bates-Halfyard family.   Our daughter was involved in a serious automobile accident resulting in the death of her adopted step-brother.  

Spenser was only six years old.  He was an active, cheerful little boy who loved hockey, animals and shared an amazing bond with his siblings. 

Understandably, Priscilla, and the rest of us, were absolutely devastated by this loss.  

When Priscilla was taken to the hospital with her broken arm and smashed foot, a shadow was discovered on her lung and she was booked for a follow-up.  

Words can't express how crushed we were when Priscilla was diagnosed a short time later with Synovial Sarcoma, one of the rarest forms of soft tissue cancer that targets adolescents and young adults.

For Priscilla, this was an incurable illness that would eventually take her life and another devastating blow.

Cancer, however, was just getting started with the devastation it had lined up for our family.

It's said that we're not given more than we can handle, but our faith was truly being tested when Bridget, who had been feeling unwell for a number of years was diagnosed with a rare form of leukemia a few months before Priscilla was diagnosed. 

Bridget's Hairy Cell Leukemia treatment started the same week that Priscilla and Spenser had their car accident.

Cancer still wasn't done with us.  

Our sister (sister-in-law to Bridget), Loretta, was living with us when she was diagnosed with breast cancer, this one - not so rare. 

Today breast cancer strikes a staggering one in seven women. Loretta's treatments began at the time Bridget was diagnosed.

As you can image, it's been a challenging few years for the Bates-Halfyard families.
 
Priscilla began chemotherapy and radiation treatment on her lung. They had planned to remove the lung tumor in November 2014.  On October 31, Priscilla was admitted to the hospital for emergency brain surgery instead. 

Three tumors were successfully removed. The fourth was deeper and more critically situated.

The surgeon simply could not remove it.  They proceeded with radiation surgery to try and blast the brain tumor out.

Despite every heroic effort by her team of doctors, Priscilla's cancer spread rapidly.  She had a large tumor the size of a football in her arm, there was cancer in her lung, brain, hips, back, and spleen. We were dealt another devastating blow:  this was a death sentence for our daughter and she didn't have much time left. 

On April 13, 2015, Priscilla was admitted to Mount Sinai Hospital in Toronto for a Splenic Embolism and it was determined by her doctors that it didn't make sense to administer any further treatment.

We met with the Palliative Care team who discussed the idea of Compiling a Life List - things Priscilla wanted to do, to see, to accomplish with the little time she had left.

Key Life List items included:

• A trip to Las Vegas
• To marry the love of her life
• A trip to Niagara Falls
• To have a Living Funeral.

Priscilla's Living Funeral occurred on April 25, 2015.  Although this was difficult emotionally, what came together as Priscilla's "Healing and Humour Hour" was nothing short of amazing.

We learned so much about "Fearless Priscilla" that evening and how she'd had such a significant impact on the lives of so many people, of all ages, through her generosity, philanthropic spirit and positive, winning attitude.

Several friends and family members shared stories about Priscilla, her faith and her unending quest for hugs.

That occasion meant so much to us, and we know it meant a tonne to Priscilla.




Click to view more images and video from Priscilla's Healing and Humour Hour.

Priscilla, along with her fiancé, Nick, her sister, Mom, and several friends booked a trip to Las Vegas for the beginning of May.  Unfortunately, the departure date came and went. Priscilla's rapidly deteriorating health just wouldn't allow her to travel.  She never did see the lights of Las Vegas, nor the Jeff Dunham show she was eagerly anticipating.  

We did manage to take Priscilla to Niagara Falls with Nick and the two of us...gorgeous, panoramic views included.  

The highlight of the trip, aside from the stunning falls themselves, came on the second evening when we all dared the Niagara SkyWheel. Bridget's terror and Nick's fear aside, the event was unforgettable for so many reasons.

Along with Priscilla's tenacious attitude towards life and death, she was very creative. She loved scrapbooking, photography, she enjoyed writing poetry and stories, as well as sewing and quilting.

We are so thankful for the beautiful treasures she created.  Each item, a piece of her, remains close to our hearts.

Priscilla also liked to share about her faith.  She was interviewed on The Drew Marshall Show on May 2, 2015, and was excited to share her story with the world before she passed away.  Click to listen to the interview.

Priscilla was admitted to Bethell Hospice in Inglewood on May 7, 2015.  She was so brave. It was an honour for us to be by her side as the medic-van transported her to her home for the final few days of her life.  

We are thankful that Priscilla was at peace and we were so proud of her for the strength, and even the humour, she shared during this time.  She continually gave us the strength we needed to be able to walk through this with her even though our hearts were breaking knowing this was where our Priscilla would take her final breath. 

On Friday, May 8, Nick and Priscilla decided they'd fulfill their dream of getting married. 

It was amazing to see everyone pull together to make this Life List wish come true for Priscilla, and for Nick.  What an incredible day it was.  Our family and friends witnessed what true, unconditional, unending love looks like - even in the face of death.

Click to watch the video of Nick and Priscilla's Union.  (Tissue recommended.)

The final week of Priscilla's life spent at Bethell Hospice was filled with peace. 

The incredible staff deserves commendation for the amazing care they provided - not only for Priscilla but for all of us who knew that time was running out.
Our Priscilla slipped away peacefully on May 12, 2015.

She was surrounded by her family and we believe she was welcomed into Heaven by her adopted step-brother, Spenser.

To honour her wishes, more than four hundred people attending Priscilla's funeral were greeted with her beautiful wedding video. 

Everyone was given a white limestone rock and asked to do something with it in memory of our beloved daughter - take it on vacation, wear it as jewelry, place it somewhere special - anything to remind people of Priscilla's generous, loving spirit and how she affected those around her.

Upon our return to Alberta, we, along with Nick, took some limestone rocks to Jasper. To honour Priscilla and how her infectious spirit brightened the lives of so many who loved her, we each threw a rock in the water at Spirit Island.  

Just as the rocks were tossed, it started to rain lightly...creating even more ripples in the water...reminding us of the positive effect we all have on others with our words, and with the attitude we choose. 

In the anniversary month of Priscilla's passing, these bands were sent to friends and family to honour her memory and raise awareness for Synovial Sarcoma. We are so grateful for the continued love and support extended to our family.

Despite the pain of losing her, Priscilla gave us all hope.  Hope and belief that through our faith, we will meet again in heaven.

Please visit her website:  www.fearlesspriscilla.com for more images of love and hope, to read more of her story and how it has affected others.  

It is our hope that Priscilla's indomitable spirit, along with the sharing her story, will increase awareness about the disease that took her and will inspire others to be faith-filled and fearless in the face of life-threatening illness.  Like raindrops on the water, Priscilla's story continues to spread ripples into eternity.

Written & Compiled By:
Andrea Raco, Certified Professional Coach, Founder of Coach for Life, Curator of Gold Key Club and Creator of 'Cancer is a Word, Not a Sentence' ~ a program designed to support people overcoming cancer or those with loved ones going through it.  She is also the wife of a Lymphoma Survivor, a Breast Cancer Survivor herself, a dedicated Mom of 4 and lover of LIFE.  

Cancer takes lives.  Cancer destroys relationships.  Contact her for your Complimentary 'Cancer Is Just A Word' Support Session if you, or your partner, is battling this demon.

Elevate Your Relationship with Mom to 'Awesome'

Since my own mother passed suddenly on Christmas Eve a few years back, I'll be celebrating Mother’s Day without her in this world.  

I should mention though, that I don’t feel motherless at all.  

My amazing foster mom continues to be a light in my life, two incredible Aunts guide me with their wisdom and knowledge and I’m happy to say that we enjoy a wonderful relationship with my mother-in-law, who is still with us at 85 years young.  

Today I’m sharing secrets about connecting with Mom (and everyone important in your life really) on a level that breaks her heart wide open with love…and will do the same for yours too.

This note was inspired by Christine, a community member who asked the following question:  

“How do I shift my relationship with my mother when every time we speak, she has something negative to say?  I end up NOT wanting to speak with her at all.  We’ll go for long periods of time not communicating which ends up hurting other family members, especially our children.”

To tell you the truth, I know exactly where Christine’s coming from. 

My own mother and I had a terribly strained relationship and were estranged completely for more than a decade before her sudden passing.  

Sadly, we never did manage to mend our fences before it was too late. 

Many of us have a ‘less than perfect’ relationship with our moms which is why I’m sharing this blog post with you as we approach the day we honour her for all she's done.

We all have the ‘Perfect Mom’ idea.  

We want our mom to be like the ones we see on TV or the picture-perfect families we see on social media.  

Who doesn’t wish for that tightly knit, stuck-together-like-glue, rock-solid foundational bond with our mom?  

We all want mom to be our best friend. 

The thing is…not everyone has that.  

The second thing is…we can’t change anyone – whether it’s our mother, a friend or even our partner for that matter. 

We can only choose to change ourselves and how we respond to them.  We can change our perspective.

Here’s what I’ve found that’s worked:

A shift in mindset:  Wanting my mother to be different, to be 'perfect' and just like someone else's mom actually prevented me from connecting with her.  

To have had a better connection with her meant that I had to let go of the idea of who I thought she should be and accept her for who she was – my mother, who loved me - in her very own unique way. 

Undoubtedly, all the anger, frustration and hurt feelings I harboured towards my mother only served to poison our relationship and really, myself too.  

We won't be able to move forward unless we can forgive.

Those were not easy realizations and sadly, the wisdom came too late to elevate the relationship I had with my own mother. 

If your relationship with mom is a little strained, or if you'd like to take your connection to a deeper level still, try this freeing exercise to strengthen your bond and to have an unforgettable Mothers’ Day experience this year:   

Step 1: Recognize that you don’t know EVERYTHING about your mom.

We know only a fraction about someone else’s journey through life.  It’s important to recognize that you don’t actually know all the experiences – both little and huge, the events, the challenges overcome, the feelings and intricacies that made your mom who she is today.  

There were many chapters in her book of life before the one that began with your birth.  Why not make it a goal this Mothers’ Day to learn something new about the person who brought you into the world?

Step 2: Be Curious.

Children have curiosity down cold.  Their insatiable appetite for information is astounding.  They want to touch, feel, and see absolutely everything.  And they want it - yesterday. They ask “why?” tirelessly and absorb information like a sponge.  

This Mothers’ Day, I challenge you to access your inner childlike curiosity and then turn on your innate ability to really listen.  

Be present and give Mom the gift of your undivided attention.  

Doesn’t cost a penny, just your time, you can do it over the phone too if distance is a factor and after everything she’s tolerated…she deserves that much from you, right?

Step 3: Ask Questions.

From this curious place, ask your mom about situations or stories that’ll help you understand her more and possibly even release some of your own frustrations in the process.  

Why not take an opportunity this weekend to ask her about those years before you came along?   

Here are some questions to help get you started:

• What was the biggest challenge you've overcome?
• Tell me a bit about the most joyful experiences in your life…
• What was it like when you were little with your parents?
• Tell me something funny about Aunt Mary or Uncle Bob from when you were kids…
• What were some of your greatest achievements in school, in sports?
• What do you absolutely love about yourself?
• What secret talent or hobby do you wish you’d developed more or spent more time doing?  Why not do more of that now?
• If you could snap your fingers and change something in this world, what would it be?
• If time and money weren’t an obstacle, where would you want to go?  What would you want to do?  Who would you want to share those experiences with?
• Tell me about how you met Dad and the love story of your romance…
• Can you remember what you were thinking the first time you held me in your arms?

And when she answers these questions you can dive a little deeper.  Just keep asking “why is that?”

Step 4: Listen with your heart.

When your mom answers the questions, don’t just listen with your ears, listen with all of your heart.  Turn off that cell phone and put away the tablet, turn off the game, the radio, the TV.  Decide to really listen to your mom’s stories.

Of course, there are many sides to the same story.  Your parents may have completely different versions of the same event – because it's based on their own experience of it.

Accept their version and look for ways to see their love, their appreciation and the gravity of their experiences.  After all, your mom has always wanted only what’s best for you. 

I hope you're inspired to have an unforgettable conversation with your mom this Mothers’ Day.  

I hope it's something that you remember for the rest of your life as a special gift, the gift of time, shared together - connected, fulfilled, healed, loved.

Some of us can only speak to our parents in prayer, so if you’re fortunate enough to have yours with you, I encourage you to take advantage of the opportunity to elevate your mother/child relationship to ‘Awesome’ on her special day.

With this post, I’m honoring my foster Mom, Irene, my Mother-In-Law and my two wonderful Aunts, Mary and Marie along with a whole bunch of my mom-friends. Without your continuous love and support, I wouldn’t be the person, or the mother I am today.  

Infinitely grateful for all of you.

Wishing you a fantastic Mother's Day, Andrea.

If you’ve found this post helpful in some way I’d be delighted to hear from you.  

Many of us have challenges around our relationships and can benefit from having an unbiased sounding board.  If that’s the case for you, I invite you to contact me:  
andrea@coachforlife.ca - or take advantage of my free gift below, and we can chat about how you can elevate your relationships and create more joy in your life.

Written By:
Andrea Raco, Certified Professional Coach, Founder of Coach for Life, Creator of 'Your Masterpiece Life' ~ a program designed to help you build the life you love, curator of Gold Key Club and Coach For Life Connections, Wife, Mom of 4, Breast Cancer Survivor and lover of LIFE.  




Drop me a note: andrea@coachforlife.ca.
I'd love to hear about your relationship with your mom. 

12 Essential Life Lessons From One Guilty Little Pleasure

Here's my question for you:  

Do you have a secret guilty pleasure?

I have a confession to share and here's a hint...it's not chocolate.  

You see, I'm an incurable romantic.  For me, a beautifully executed Viennese Waltz is the epitome of romance and perfection with its rise and fall, whirling and twirling. 

(Promise there is something here for all the guys reading this too...so don't check out on me just because you see chocolate bonbons and dancing!)

Learning to waltz for our wedding didn’t go quite the way I thought it would.  

There is nothing romantic about learning a new skill and trying to perfect it for an audience when you have a looming deadline hanging over your head.  (Did I really just associate my wedding date with a ‘looming deadline?'). 

To this day, I struggle with the 'Let Him Lead' lesson.

My husband and I should have clued in when our instructors extended their disclaimer on that first day of classes that the fees for divorce lawyers weren’t included in the fees for dancing lessons.  

Want to torture test your newly formed relationship?  

Try some ballroom dancing lessons.  You'll be amazed at what comes up for both of you.  

It was a grueling year with a lot of learning - both inside AND outside of the dancing studio.  Thankfully, our partnership withstood it.  

Those lessons of persisting and teamwork prepared us for the mountains that lay ahead:  Children.  Two rounds of Cancer. (Yikes...I just put those two together too!)

But let's dive in.

There is something that can absolutely transport me away from the busy schedule of juggling the house, the family, the gym and the pressing deadlines of my business.  

Don’t get me wrong…I absolutely LOVE all if it…but a little indulgence sweetens up the experience of LIFE! Luxuries I’m willing to afford myself, now and then.  

And who doesn’t love a guilty little pleasure, anyway? 

So here it is:  

I am unabashedly addicted to Dancing with the Stars.   

There.  I admitted it. 

It’s true that my ballroom dancing experience is very limited.  

It is plenty enough to know that these contestants pull off miracles every week.  

A couple seasons back, one competitor couldn't hear the music!  

That blows my mind.  Ladies, I mean it when I say that watching just Nyle DiMarco's episodes alone is entirely worth the time ;)

Our household has four kids between the ages of twelve and fifteen.  (Yes, I have twins.)  These days, my daughter and three sons cannot agree on much of anything, let alone what to watch on television.  

Thankfully, DWTS has something entertaining for everyone.  Even my husband, who rarely watches TV, can find something of interest:

Gorgeous, perfectly-sculpted feminine athletes clad in micro-mini, sequined costumes gives a whole new meaning to

‘Shiny Object Syndrome.’  

I’m thinking poetry in motion.  He’s thinking sex on hardwood.  

Sigh…I did say Guilty Little Pleasures, right?

Dancing, poetry and pageantry aside, the show also has all the teaching opportunities any life coach, or parent could possibly dream of.  

Here’s just a few:

Don’t be afraid to try something new – we really do only get ONE SHOT at this life!

If you’re going to do something…jump in with both feet - Do It Big!  Strive for Excellence.

Anyone can achieve excellence.  It takes practice, commitment & then, more practice. 

Life isn’t fair (some of us are born deaf and can’t hear the music) but that doesn’t mean ‘don’t dance’- Go ahead, give whatever it is that lights you up your best shot! 

Have a positive, winning attitude.  Our attitude is our choice - even when life isn’t fair. Especially when life isn’t fair.

Mistakes happen. These opportunities for growth and learning refine us, not define us. 

Success is a journey.  It requires consistent, persistent effort.  Never give up on your goals.

Competition is healthy.  Dare to win.  It’s awesome.  Celebrate it when you do!

Celebrate ALL wins - yours and your competitors’ to create an inclusive, positive environment.

Losing or Failing is part of life.  Learn to do it graciously.

Be Coachable – Your best chance for success is to follow someone who’s already successful.

All this and more makes the DWTS hour one of heartwarming inspiration and entertainment for the whole family.  

My sons may start trying to convince me that they are just too cool, but it doesn't take long for the protesting to stop. Two words:  Whitney Carson.  

See...I promised there was something for everyone!

The final, vitally important takeaway, evident with each episode of my guilty little pleasure is a lesson that I hope doesn’t require a near-death experience for you (like it did for me) to finally learn:  

HAVE FUN
    with this life!    

Written By:
Andrea Raco, Certified Professional Coach, Founder of Coach for Life, Creator of 'Your Masterpiece Life' ~ a program designed to help you build the life you love, curator of Gold Key Club and Coach For Life Connections, Wife, Mom of 4, Breast Cancer Survivor and lover of LIFE.  




Would you like to showcase your success story?  

I'd love to help you craft and share your story so more people can hear from you.  

Drop me a note: andrea@coachforlife.ca and we'll get started.