When Life Leads Us On Journeys We'd Never Choose

Life leads us on journeys we'd never choose to go on - if it were up to us.

You've likely heard this one: A ship is safe in harbor, but that’s not what ships are meant for.

To continue to grow and move forward, it's important to remain open to possibilities - to keep an open mind and be willing to try new things. We must venture out and leave the safe harbour, to dream, to explore...to DO.
Oftentimes, we have no choice but to voyage into the unknown and embark on unexpected adventures.
Oftentimes, we must journey to fearful places. Beginning a new career, taking on a new role in a new place of work, or deciding to leave a secure job that doesn't light us up are scenarios that can be filled with uncertainty.

• Starting a family can be terrifying.
• Leaping into a new business venture - also terrifying.
• Times of transition can be painful.
• Sometimes we have to let go of things we care about very much.
• We may have to face a scary diagnosis and our own mortality.
• Losing a loved one is devastating.

Oftentimes, those adventures through uncharted waters turn out to be exactly what we need to become incredible, unstoppable, more resilient, courageous.

According to Dr. Karl Albrecht, there are 5 Types of Fears that classify our human experience.

1. EXTINCTION

Also known as existential anxiety, this is the panicky feeling we get when we peek over the edge of a cliff or tall building or when we consider the possibility of being diagnosed with a life-threatening illness.

When we fear annihilation, it's more than just a fear of death, it's anxiety over how we might die.

Triggers for this type of fear include heights, fear of the dark, or an aversion to flying.

2. BODILY INVASION OR MUTILATION

This would be a fear of being physically unsafe or under attack where there's a risk of losing an important body part or a vital body function or having your body invaded.

Triggers for this type of fear include anxieties about snakes and spiders, rabid dogs, hungry sharks, uncontrollable germs, being poked with needles. As much as we like to avoid them, certain medical procedures have to happen and the annual trip to the dentist is necessary for our health.

3. LOSS OF AUTONOMY

The fear of being confined, trapped, restricted, or suffocated is a real fear for many people. This is the fear of being immobilized, paralyzed, imprisoned, or restricted, making us helpless and at the mercy of another or circumstances beyond our control.

When the fear of loss of control or freedom is coupled with a lack of human connection, anxiety, depression, and other mental health issues have an opportunity to set in, take hold, and send people over the edge.

Add in challenges including economic or financial struggles, a significant loss or serious health diagnosis and we have a recipe for disaster.

Triggers for this type of fear include poverty, debilitating illness, aging, grief, scenarios where we feel helpless and powerless, overwhelmed with parenthood responsibilities or financial burdens.

4. SEPARATION, REJECTION, ABANDONMENT

Humans have an inherent need to belong to a community.

When someone suffers from a loss of connectedness, when they feel unwanted or undervalued, according to Dr. Albrecht, their wellbeing, and even their chances for survival are threatened.

Triggers for this type of fear include the death of a relationship or a loved one, an argument or disagreement with someone we care about or how we feel when we're given the 'Silent Treatment' from someone we love.

5. HUMILIATION, SAME OR UNWORTHINESS

We all need to feel lovable, feel worthy of love and valued to be able to have healthy relationships with others, and with ourselves.

Feelings of shame can be crushing and even life-threatening.

Most of us will avoid humiliation at all costs as it's been known to make us physically ill, make our skin prickle, our cheeks blush, and even cause hyperventilation or stabbing pains where we'd rather disappear in a hole.

Feeling shame and humiliation can make us feel worthless and unlovable, and unfortunately can even lead people to opt for suicide.

Triggers for this type of fear include failure, criticism, bullying, victimization, public speaking, being caught in a lie or committing a crime, losing a job or the end of a love relationship. It could also be as simple as forgetting the birthday of a loved one or burning dinner for the family.

What to do when we're faced with something we have to do but don't like:

Here are 3 helpful strategies to journey onward even when we must face our deepest fears and are challenged to undertake a voyage we didn't sign up for:

1. Find the lessons your experiences have given you and be grateful for them - the good, the bad, and EVEN the ugly.
2. Have faith in the process, even when you may not understand it entirely.
3. YOUR journey has valuable lessons for you - ones you're meant to learn. The course will unfold ahead of you when you have the courage to believe that you're exactly where you're meant to be, in this very moment.

Just keep moving forward. Adjust those sails to the wind that storm is kicking up...and sail on. I wish you safe travels and lots of learning on your way.

Now it's your turn. I invite you to share in the comments below, or if you'd prefer, in your journal:

1. What scary experience led you to become the person you are today?
2. What were the important lessons or key takeaways from that experience?

About the Author:
Andrea Raco, is a Certified Success and Life Enrichment Coach, Founder of Coach for Life, and Curator of Gold Key Club ~ a private community for women making a difference in the world with their unique talents and gifts.

For more information about her programs and services, visit www.coachforlife.ca.